Nurse walks in to check on the patient sitting by the window. "Hi there sweetie, how are you feeling today? Do you want me to move you away from the window? You must be getting hot!" Without waiting for a response, the nurse unlocks the wheelchair and moves it in front of the TV.
"There you go dear, you'll be more comfortable here." Leaning forward, the nurse smiles and runs her hands over the soft hair pulled back in a simple pony-tail. "I'll be back to check on you later, okay?"
***
What kind of relationship do you see going on here? Who is this mysterious patient?
You probably are thinking it's a young child in the hospital, or possibly a mentally handicap individual in some care facility.
Unfortunately, this fictional conversation is taking place between a 20-30 female nurse and an elderly woman. This conversation is all too often a reality.
I have known people who think it is okay to speak to elderly people with that same high-pitched, sing-song tone we use with children. They think it is okay to give them pet-names like dear, sweetie, and honey.
And it pisses me off every damn time.
I look at it this way: I'm X age (24). They are Y age. Out of sheer respect for their age, their life experience, etc. I address the elderly as they tell me to ("you can just call me MaryJane"), by their last name (Mr./Mrs. so-and-so), or simply sir or ma'am.
Guess you could say, my momma raised me right.
Did yours?
07 October 2008
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2 comments:
I see what you're saying with that, but I used to work at a nursing home, and most of the residents I worked with preferred to be called by their first name because "ma'am" or "Mr./Mrs." was TOO formal. I think it depends on the person, as with everything. And yes, there is considerable evidence that talking "down" to the elderly gives them excess stress/depression, but there are ways of saying things in a sing-song voice without sounding demeaning.
I don't mind calling someone what they ask me to call them, but I won't just make the assumption that it is ok to call them by their first name or by pet names. I'm going to be that bitchy old lady who has her doctorate and will demand that everyone call me Dr. Smith.
And having been in a similar position this month of December, I have to say that the best nurses—not only from my mother's perspective in terms of who she reacted to better, but also mine and my sister's—were the nurses that talked to my mother as an adult.
They addressed her as Sylvia or Ms. Smith; told her what they were doing before they did it; explained things; asked if it was ok if they went ahead; etc. It was those nurses that earned my respect and status as "favorite nurses."
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